04 July 2006

Golfing Tragedy!

I suck! I really really suck! Sucky McSuckerton, that’s me!

Over the Canada day long weekend, Daniel and I were up at the cottage. Conveniently, there’s a 9-hole golf course only five minutes away. Nothing too fancy and not very busy…perfect for a first-time golfer such as myself. After lessons and a few practice rounds at the driving range, it seemed inevitable that I would have to play sooner or later.
It should have been later!

If the game of golf focused on who could make the largest air bound divots, I’d be a legend in my time. I’ve lifted less dirt while gardening!

It seems as though all of my previous instruction left my mind the moment that I hit the green. I especially loved teeing off from the first hole, which is overlooked by a balcony where the leering eyes of others golfers watch your every move….no pressure! Not one to do things in half measures, I gave them one heck of a show – a wild swing, followed by a flying mound of turf and some embarrassed grumbling. On the third swing I finally made contact with the ball, relieved to see it move anywhere outside of the view of my audience….even if it was almost on another fairway.

Dan didn’t prove to be much better than myself, although slightly less embarrassing. Needless to say, we quickly decided to turn the game into “best ball”. It was pretty evident that neither of us would be making par that day. Even together, we couldn’t muster a half decent score.

Lessons learned:
Need to work on sportsmanlike conduct!!! (Sorry Dan)
2. Need more practice at the range…teeing from the grass this time
3. There is no such thing as too much bug repellant
4. Sand traps mysteriously turn into water traps after thunderstorms
5. Groundhogs are cute (even when they look like Beavers)
6. More beer needed during play

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