What’s with all the vampires?

Am I totally out of touch with reality? Maybe I missed some sort of memo? Am I the only one that confused by the seemingly endless advertisements for vampire shows on TV? I like macabre as much as the next person, but vampires? Trendy? Huh?

Don’t get me wrong, Bram Stoker was awesome!!! The classic Dracula was very entertaining, commanding and even just a touch sexy. Try as I might, I just can’t seem to sink my teeth into (ha!) the new anxty teenage variety of the undead. Half-starved, angular-faced boys just don’t do it for me. I suppose it’s only natural that a diet solely consisting of ‘blood’ would leave you looking a little weak, but I swear I could snap these guys like a twig.

Maybe I’m just uncool, but I still don’t get it. The title “Vampire Diaries” doesn’t leave much to my imagination:

7:00 AM – Crap! The sun is up, better stay inside.

7:30 AM – Zzzzzzzzz

12:00 PM – Getting hungry; thinking about blood

1:00 PM - Zzzzzzzzzzz

5:00 PM – Getting hungry; thinking about blood

6:00 PM – tapping extra-long fingernails impatiently

9:00 PM – Bingo! Feeding time! What anxty teenage loner can I snack on?

9:30 PM – Chow down on the moody / misunderstood black-haired girl leaving the poetry café

10:00 PM – Morph into bat; get some flying in.

12:00 PM – Back to the castle for a big raucous kegger with the rest of the undead.

7:00 AM – Crap, the sun!

Perhaps , if I’m bored enough this week, I’ll cave in and see what all the fuss is about. Who knows, I could be pleasantly surprised…but I’m doubtful.

I'm wondering...do these newfangled vampires even write in diaries, or are they all using Twitter nowadays?