Out of the mouths of babes

One of the best parts about having a toddler is hearing the crazy stuff that comes out of his mouth on a daily basis. Drew is at that precious age right now where he’ll spout something incredibly insightful one moment, promptly followed by motorboat noises or incoherent babble. In short, he makes us laugh…a lot!

One of the other beauties about toddlers is the fact that they seldom hide anything. If something is on Drew’s brain, he’s sure to let us know. Often we’re left scratching our heads in disbelief and wondering where he comes up with the strange notions that float around inside his little red noggin. Of particular noteworthiness is his latest obsession – the “Scratchy Monster”.

I was first introduced to the Scratchy Monster two weeks ago. Drew and I were eating breakfast and discussing the bad weather we had experienced the previous night. We had a bad bout of freezing rain and wind that reduced Drew to tears; he hates loud noises against his window. It took several visits and much coaxing to get him to bed, which is not habitual. Eventually the poor little mite cried himself to sleep.

As it turns out, poor Andrew did not realize that it was simply rain hitting his window, despite our many assurances. Instead, he concocted some sort of horrid monster in his mind. No joke, this is how our conversation went.

Me: Poor Andrew. You didn’t sleep well last night because of all the noise.
Andrew: Yes Mommy.
Me: There was lots of loud rain.
Andrew: It was scary because of the “Scratchy Monster”
Me: The what?
Andrew: The “Scratchy Monster” gonna eat me Mommy.

I have to tell you, it took a good deal of willpower not to laugh aloud. He was so deadpan and matter-of-fact in his delivery that I almost believed him. Instead, being a good Mommy, I assured him that scratchy monsters do not exist, and that he was really hearing freezing rain on the window. He has since started calling all rainy Scratchy Monster.

While I’m happy to report that fear of old Scratchy has dwindled somewhat, he now assures me that “the robots are coming” when we lay him down to bed. Either his overactive imagination is getting the best of him, or he knows more about that whole 2012 Mayan calendar scare than the rest of us. One thing is certain – never a dull moment where he is concerned.