All quiet on the Western front

Only five days until Momma gets angry and issues Bean his real eviction notice. Despite that fact that most of the other Ottawa ladies in my WB October Momma’s forum have already had their little ones (several were early I might add), I’m still sitting here with zero signs of labour. I’m really hoping that my lack of contractions isn’t a sign that this little man is going to stay past due; my mother never had any signs either, just her water breaking in one dramatic “sploosh.” I seem to have inherited Mom’s easy pregnancy and zero stretch mark genes, so I’m hoping I also have her luck with good/ quick labour. The fact that I want to meet this kiddo so much, probably means that he’ll make me suffer for as long as he can…sorry, but I’m not a “glass half full” gal at this point.

Nothing overly exciting to report today. Once again I tried to put gravity to work by cleaning the entire house from top to bottom: dusting, vacuuming, washing the floors, laundry, and climbing the stairs countless times. I also spent a good hour sterilizing bottles and figuring out how to assemble a breast pump for my inevitable task as dairy cow. After all that time spent standing and rushing around, all I have succeeded in doing is making my left foot look a little more bulgy and purple.

I am happy to report that the topic of yesterday’s post wasn’t merely a passing fancy. Mom took me out to Michael’s in the afternoon and I walked away with two knitting needles, some yarn and literally zero knowledge about knitting. After a few quick tutorials on YouTube and several botched attempts, I am now the proud owner of a very “ghetto” scarf-in-progress - basically ten rows of straight knitting and no pattern, but I’m absurdly proud of myself all the same. I think I heard my Mother-In-Law let out a victory cry from heaven; I’m finally going somewhere other than an unused ball of yarn and lots of swearing. (Poor Patty quickly discovered that I wasn’t exactly the most patient learner). Sadly, however, I have chosen to take up knitting at what could easily be dubbed “the worst possible time” – right when I’m suffering from pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel syndrome. I may have ten rows of a scarf completed, but I also haven’t felt my fingers in 24 hours.

Pray for my folks. I think I need all the help and labour vibes I can get…before I find new cruel and unusual ways to punish myself out of boredom.