Eviction warning

My dearest “Bean”

As much as I’ve enjoyed carrying you inside my belly and sharing all my energy and nutrients with you, please be advised it will soon be time to vacate your watery lodgings and upgrade to a much larger home (aka the world).

You are encouraged to start packing your bags and planning your big move. To facilitate your departure, it is also advisable that you turn yourself head down and remain in that position until you vacate the premises. In the meantime, you are more than welcome to stay in the comfort of my belly, eating whatever food you can find and gaining weight for the exhausting move ahead. It is strongly recommended that you “hang out” for another three weeks , however you have both my permission and support to vacate the premises after that point.

Should you be lazy and decide to remain in your surroundings beyond October 21 (your cutoff date), I will do all in my power to speed along your departure. Be warned that if you still do not comply, you may be forcibly removed – a situation I hope we can both avoid.

I hope you enjoy your last few weeks / month in the comfort of my belly. I understand that your home is getting smaller as you grow but could you please go easy on my ribs so that we can both enjoy ourselves? It would be greatly appreciated.

Looking forward to meeting you and, of course, settling you into your new home.

Your loving landlady…and mother

Jennifer