Itsy bitsy, teenie weenie, make your parents cringe bikini...

Only twenty-five days until the warm glorious heat and sunshine of Mexico. Alarmingly, this means that I now have less than one month to magically transform my abs into something befitting the two ridiculously skimpy bikinis that I purchased.

In a moment of confidence (or outright brazenness) I found myself trapped in the dressing room of Bikini Village, as a bubbly and ever-so-perky saleslady brought me one skimpy mini after another. I went in with the firm affirmation that I wanted a modest and well-structured one-piece but the name of the store should have tipped me off. Needless to say, it wasn’t long before I found myself timidly staring in the mirror feeling more than just a wee bit vulnerable. Once I got over the initial shock of my blinding white skin (seriously frightening folks), I was happy to note that the suit wasn’t quite as horrific as I thought it would be. Even though I’ve lost over 20 lbs. and have worked hard to get myself in shape, I sometimes feel as though I’m a stranger stuck in another’s person’s body. It’s a bit of an awkward sensation, much akin to puberty, where you haven’t quite come to terms with your new body/shape. After hiding under layers and being very conscious about playing down ‘problem’ areas for years, it’s very difficult to suddenly wrap your head around the notion of bearing it all. It’s fun and liberating, but it’s also a little frightening. I have proverbially ‘got it’; now I just need to learn to be more comfortable with ‘flaunting it’ a little.

Bathing suit shopping was definitely a revelation and a new experience for me. To the saleswoman’s credit, she was extremely patient as it took well over an hour for me to decide on what I wanted. She must have sensed my apprehension and thankfully wasn’t too pushy. In the end, we were both rewarded as I walked out with two skimpy bikinis (meager in material but not in cost) and a new one-piece (some old habits die hard).

I’m still not entirely sure that I’ll have the gumption to strip down on the beaches, but I am gradually warming to the idea. My husband, of course, has been a towering force of enthusiasm and encouragement…(shakes head in exasperation)

And so the countdown continues, with days diminishing and killer abdominal crunches increasing.