19 August 2011

Looking up

Things are looking up – literally.

I am happy to report that I’m able to tilt my head back more, something that was virtually impossible two days ago without feeling like my head would fall off. I’m still stiff as hell, and find it near impossible to sleep the night through, but I feel like things are starting to heal a little on the inside. I have a bit more mobility and have started doing neck exercises which is thankfully relieving some of the tensions in my shoulders, back and head.

I managed to do a few laps around the block yesterday which felt great. My breathing was still a bit shallow due to swelling so I had to call it quits early and plunk myself down on the porch. I gave in to a small pity party yesterday (more tears, damn it!). I just want to get up and get my life back in order. I miss feeling healthy and I can’t wait to get myself back on track. Tacking proper care of my body has been long overdue and, when all is said and done, I’m going to meet with a nutritionist to help get me on the right path. Now that I only have half a thyroid, I’m going to have to monitor my diet more closely and make sure that I am eating the right foods to fuel my body and keep the blues at bay.

Tomorrow the dressing comes off – I can’t wait! While I know that the stitches themselves are making things tight, the added medical plastic and tape don’t help. It will feel good to air out the inscision. I am also very curious to see how I am healing. I’m sure it will be a bit unsightly but I honestly don’t care. Folks can stare and ask all they like – no sweat off my back. Thankfully I’m not one of those people that is disturbed by scars. I see no point in covering them up. I guess I always grew up looking at scars. My mother’s body is quite the roadmap; I’ve always found her scars fascinating. Scars are kind of like testaments to human strength and the body’s ability to endure far more than we ever give it credit for. It’s like having a piece of your history tattooed on your body and I didn’t even have to pay good $ for mine – ha!

Glad to be feeling in a more positive state of mind today. I’m going to try to go for a longer walk and do more stretches. It’s slow going but at least it’s going somewhere.

As for hubby, I think he’s quietly enjoying this whole experience. My voice is still quite weak which means that I am no longer able to nag…or at least he doesn’t hear me trying. In all honesty though, he has been an absolute rock through all of this. He has had to step up to the plate and take care of the house, cooking and taking care of Andrew. I’m coming out all this with a stronger appreciation for how lucky I really am to have two great guys in my life.

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