18 October 2010

Back at it

I can’t believe I once thought of maternity leave as captivity; now I realize just how fortunate I was to have that time at home with Andrew…no matter how miserable we may have both felt in the beginning. A year ago today, I was about to head to the hospital in labour; now I find myself the mother of a soon-to-be toddler – CRAZY!

It definitely felt bizarre returning to work this morning. My office seems so empty and there’s really no point in decorating because I’ll be “officially” starting my new job in three weeks. Right now I’m working between both locations so I plan to spruce up and make myself at home when I check out the new digs later this week. It’s difficult coming back after being away for a year, only knowing that I’ll be leaving again shortly – I feel like I have no home at the moment and I’m being a bit cautious about letting myself get too close to people… I suck at goodbyes .

The early wakeup and getting Drew off to daycare wasn’t as brutal as I thought it would be. He cried, as is customary anytime I walk out the door but I’m confident that he is in capable and loving hands. I’m so glad that we phased him into daycare gradually over a month – while he stills hates leaving me (and I hate leaving him), I was able to personally avoid tears and meltdowns today. It still pains me to think that I’ll spend more time at work than with him but I know we’ll survive and it will make me work harder at making the most of our time together. I’m glad that our morning went well and was not rushed; hubby and I were dressed and ready for work by the time we woke Drew up for his bottle and breakfast, we had an entire hour to enjoy with our little man before we headed out the door.

Lunch break is over now and it’s back to the plethora of emails clogging up my inbox.

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