04 December 2006

A touch of nostalgia

It was yet another busy weekend for the newlyweds. With Christmas just around the corner, it looks as though we won’t be doing too much relaxing until 2007.

On Friday, we kicked off the weekend in fine fashion. Dan and I both worked overtime (grumble), then slowly inched our way home through the freezing rain. By the time we finally reached Orleans, I started to feel the nasty makings of a cold….perfect!

By seven o’clock we managed to sit down for a romantic meal of soggy stir fry and “less than spectacular” wine. As if all this wasn’t appetizing enough, the meal was accompanied by some wonderful snuffling noises, compliments of my runny nose.

So dinner was a bit of a bust...it happens. But this wasn’t going to deter me from my main goal of the evening – setting up the Christmas tree! Unfortunately, hubby had to submit a job application that evening so I was stuck flying solo for a while. No problem, I’m a seasoned veteran of the artificial tree setup!

I made some herbal tree, blasted the Christmas tunes and set myself to the monotonous task of unfolding hundreds of little wire branches. As I sat there, singing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," the strangest feeling came over me. I was crying! Not soft or silent rolling tears…we’re talking full-on ugly crying!

It was as though reality suddenly hit me - I’m married…I have a house… I’m not at home for Christmas… I’m not a little girl anymore (although the crying may convince you otherwise). It was truly a strange sensation! All of a sudden I wanted to be a child again, safe in the comfort of my parents protective arms and not a care in the world.

My mother always warned me that I would have a weepy/ “freak out” moment some time after the wedding. I remember laughing when she told me about being in a similar situation shortly after she marraied my father. “Not me! Not ever!” was my credo. I remained dry-eyed on the day I left home and on my wedding day; it was a point of personal triumph. Now, over two months after the wedding, I'm sprawled at the base of my Christmas tree in a sickly, sobbing heap...pathetic!

It’s strange that something as simple as a Christmas tree managed to hit home. Perhaps it's just the whole feeling of nostalgia that this season seems to evoke? It felt strange to set up the tree without by mother by my side, the two of us belting out carols and inevitably arguing over the proper placement of tinsel. How was I to know that I would miss such things?

Poor Dan must have felt horrible. Of course I’m happy that we’re married! I’m really looking forward to creating our own memories and starting new traditions! But, for just a brief second, I was overcome with such a tremendous sense of loss. I guess this is why it is so important to enjoy every second of your childhood…because you’ll never get it back. On the plus side, I can look forward to the day when my own children will come along and hopefully be able to enjoy the things that I treasured so much.

After a quick boohoo nostalgia trip on the phone with mom, I dried my eyes and returned to the Christmas tree with a fresh perspective. Together, Dan and I placed the angel and the ornaments on the tree. When it came to the tinsel, I couldn’t help myself. “Don’t hang it like that for God’s sake….do it like this...” Some traditions just never die!

Once the decorations were complete, Dan shut off all the lights around the house and we sipped hot chocolate in front of our illuminated tree – our very first Christmas together…the first of many!

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

1 comment:

mrbunsrocks said...

Awwwww....love the tree and the story!

I had a meltdown over laundry when I was in uni - you always feel a little silly, but then you realize it's about a lot bigger issue. Definitely takes some adjusting! :)