27 June 2006

Biological Sissy

I was listening to my usual Irish radio program at work today on RTE 2FM and heard a fascinating piece on redheads. My interest soon turned to horror, as I realized that I’m extremely biologically messed up!

Recent studies indicate that, in general, redheads are more sensitive to pain. According to a study conducted by the University of Louiseville, redheads require 20 % more anesthesia in preparation for medical procedures than blondes and brunettes. It was also projected that redheads require stronger pain killers following surgery.

Doctors speculate that the unusual link between hair color, pain, and anesthesia may be traced to a glitch hidden deep within redheads' genetic codes. Receptors for melanocyte-stimulating hormone, the hormone that tells cells to produce the skin and hair color pigment melanin, don't function normally in redheads. This is the reason why redheads tend to get sunburned easily. The same dysfunction may also indirectly stimulate a brain receptor that boosts pain sensitivity. Medically speaking…I’m a freak of nature.

Taking this issue to heart, I decided to do a bit of research myself to find out more quirky facts about redheads:

  • Redheads have the thickest hair, but have the smallest number of strands.
  • It was recorded that Witches needed the fat of a person with red hair when making poisons.
  • Redheads are slaves to their emotions: passionate disposition & short temper
  • Redheads have always been thought untrustworthy. As a 17th-century Frenchman observed, "Judas, it is said, was red-haired."
  • Bees sting redheads more readily
  • The Egyptians regarded the red hair as so unlucky that they had a ceremony in which they burned red-headed maidens alive to wipe out the tint
  • In France, to be redheaded is thought to be a fate so dire that some women have formed a Proud to be Red association.

Quite the list! All of a sudden I’m not feeling so good about my one “so-called” claim to beauty. How to sum me up: emotionally unstable, untrustworthy, unlucky, pain-filled, Witch bait. Awesome….just awesome!

Some scientists predict that redheads are a dying breed facing extinction. I’m starting to wonder if that’s such a bad thing. I’m pretty much a born looser.

Want to know the best part??? I’m marrying a redhead! No extinction here. We plan to breed a small army of the unfortunate little buggers.

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